Settling in meets homesickness

Today was the first time I really felt homesick. I've gone through serious periods of missing people - my mom, my girlfriends, Cory, my kitty, but I haven't really felt like I missed home. I think part of that is living in the apartment with Dad - I have a real bathroom, a kitchen, my dad, and some stuff from home like blankets, art, etc. Plus having multiple rooms makes it feel more like home and not living out of a dorm room/hotel room. But today I missed home. Funnily enough it started because I wanted to wear this shirt that I didn't bring with me. I thought about it and then decided not to bring it (unlike the skirt I mourned last week because I forgot to pack it). But today I really wanted it and that little thing kicked off a whole wave of missing my home.

Other than that though, life is good. Yesterday we had class and I had my first solo language class. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be but I'm still really nervous because there's no one to back me up or validate the fact that the material is hard. When I make mistakes, it's just me not understanding the material. When Joe and I both made mistakes it was more a confirmation that we were learning hard stuff. But it's not bad. Today was pretty good too, though Alexander said I'm getting a new teacher next week so I'm not sure how I feel about that. We're also approaching the end of the first section of my book, which involves grammar exercises, verb, comprehension, and vocabulary in addition to short passages. The next section is just long passages. Eek! But I'm trying to be confident - I can do this! Maybe.

Yesterday we went to this "top secret" Cold War bunker that existed under this city block for decades and no one even knew it was there. It wasn't a hide-out for Stalin like I originally thought, but instead basically a ballistics control headquarters type thing. I wondered how similar it would be to the Churchill War Rooms in London and the answer was...not at all. Sorry Moscow, but London totally has you beat on that. In London everything was preserved just how it was during the war. In Moscow everything was dismantled and secretly transported out of the tunnel system using a nearby metro line. Which would be super cool if you could actually see the secret entrance to the line but it's blocked off now. It was still neat and interesting to see the Cold War from a different perspective. Though a video that plays Ave Maria while atomic bombs go off in the background is somewhat unsettling...

But we did get to meet some different Americans on a 7 week language-only trip here. They seemed nice and it was cool to see some new faces. I talked to one kid, Zach, who just graduated from Tufts and is going to Stanford for his masters in the fall, at dinner. We compared Polisci departments and ideology and I explained my thesis. Which, as usual, sparks a panic that I am not far enough along on my data collection and that all of my hypotheses are going to be wrong. The first fear is ungrounded - I think I might actually be ahead or at least on target; the second one is probably right but not the end of the world I suppose. Either way, talking about it gives me a headache but I enjoyed talking to someone who likes political science as much as I do. While the people in my group are great, none have quite the focus on polisci that I do so it was a nice change. The other girl I talked to is only a junior in high school! I give her huge credit for coming here...I'm not sure I would have been quite that brave. Plus, I'm a little impressed that her 700 student, K-12 school in Alaska actually teaches Russian. Bizarre.

Today Joe and I met with our tutors and Miriam tagged along (quite welcome too, since Joe and I aren't always quite sure what to do with our tutors). Today was interesting though, we talked about learning languages and how hard that is, about language teachers, and then a bit about our cultures and the awkwardness of growing up and not being sure what to call people anymore (Mr/Mrs or first names???). Russians don't have a Mr./Mrs. equivalent, instead they call each other by first name and "patronymic" which is formed from their father's name. For instance, I am Erika Krisovna. My mom would be Linda Williamovna. Well, it sounds better with Russian names. Informally, they use only first names, but we bonded over similarities in unsurety over the transition between formal and informal. I shared how uncomfortable I feel calling adults by their first names, even though I'm almost a "for realsies" adult, as we say at my house.

Then I went back to the European mall because I hadn't stopped thinking about a top I tried on there and since it was only $25 I decided to treat myself and maybe cheer myself up. Alas, it was much less adorable than I thought in my mind so I walked home empty handed. I made bruschetta and ravioli for dinner and unlocked Dad's iPhone, to his amazement (I just followed online instructions but there you have it).

Tomorrow is more class and then a Moscow City Government tour. I'm not really sure what to expect but hopefully it's cool. I like being out of the classroom at least, it provides a break from sitting for hours. I'm not one to fall asleep in class but after sitting in a warm room after lunch for 3 hours I feel a bit sleepy. Once I get moving I'm fine but my eyelids definitely start to droop even though I find the subject material really interesting and I'm writing practically nonstop. I wonder what the professor would do if I started doing jumping jacks in class?